Three-stanza poem. First two feel solid, third one keeps reading flat. Open to ANY suggestions — line cuts, reorderings, full rewrites.
She left the lamp on in the hall.
Not for me; she did not know
I had not gone.
The light stayed where she left it.
An object, a small island,
a thing made for waiting.
I do not know how to end this.
Help me end this.
Tell me how the lamp goes out.
Three-stanza poem. First two feel solid, third one keeps reading flat. Open to ANY suggestions — line cuts, reorderings, full rewrites.
She left the lamp on in the hall.
Not for me; she did not know
I had not gone.
The light stayed where she left it.
An object, a small island,
a thing made for waiting.
I do not know how to end this.
Help me end this.
Tell me how the lamp goes out.